Acting like a normal human being is not a bad way to do business

A few years ago I was the keynote speaker at a leadership conference.  I was scheduled to speak twice and lead three workshops during the three day event.  There were a number of excellent speakers for the plenary sessions, and I was honored to begin the event with my first message.  On the final day I found my seat to hear the person scheduled to speak before me when one of the organizers came to me thanking me for being there and being so good to work with.  I thought he was just being gracious until he said that one of the comments he was hearing from a lot of the attendees was how much they appreciated me attending the sessions when I was not scheduled to speak.  He said that most of their previous keynote speakers only attended the sessions where they were scheduled to speak and spent the rest of their time in their rooms.  I never dreamed that people were noticing that I was at all the sessions and had even less of an idea that they were talking about that.  The fact was that I felt that I could learn from each of the speakers at that conference (and I did) and had no desire to miss any of the plenary sessions.  They were scheduled apart from the workshops I was leading so there was no reason not to attend the larger group meetings.  Besides, I felt that since I was being paid to be there I had somewhat of an obligation to my hosts to be available to the people who were attending the conference, and who can do that if they remain holed up in a motel room?

I had forgot about that until I began reading Jon Acuff's new book Start: Punch Fear in the Face, Escape Average and Do Work that Matters.  In one chapter he talks about how people who want to be awesome in what they do should not be jerks.  He relates a number of backstage conversations he's had with various organizers who have told him about some of the speakers and musicians they've worked with who were jerks.  They show up, do the minimum their contract requires, often treat people rather poorly, and retreat to the privacy of their rooms.  Reading that reminded me of the conversation I had with the organizers of the event referred to above.  It also reminded me of a large outdoor Christian concert I attended several years ago.

The concert featured some of the top names in contemporary Christian music.  It was being held in a large outdoor facility in a nearby city.  The individual who was the main attraction was one of my favorite Christian performers so some friends of mine bought me a ticket and went with me to this event.  The day was going great until it was announced the main attraction would not be performing.  It seemed he was upset that the stage was not the size he had requested so he was refusing to sing.  Up to that day I had purchased every cassette he made; I never purchased another one.  It had been a long time since I had been so disappointed in a human being.

It doesn't matter if you are a speaker, a musician, or a small business owner, it's OK to act like a normal human being.  It's OK to be nice to people.  I get tired of trying to do business with people who act like they are doing me a favor taking my money.  I was in a business recently and saw the sign "No public restrooms."  I left, not because I needed to use the restroom but because I see a sign like that and think "Jerk!  What if a mother comes in with a small child that needs a restroom NOW?  Are you going to send her away with her kid dribbling down the sidewalk?  According to that sign you are, so you don't need my business."  My wife and I walked into a local store some months ago.  the owner never left the security of her little cubicle, but she never took her eyes off of us while we were in the store.  She also never spoke a word although we were the only people in the store.  I think I understand why we were the only ones there and why that business soon closed. 

I have owned a business and know how difficult some people can be to satisfy.  Some you will never please.  They are jerks, but that doesn't mean you have to be one.  This doesn't mean you have to let people walk over you.  There may be times you have to stand firm, but even then you can be nice about it.  I have often said that I do not want to be the person who needs to apologize.

One of my first speaking engagements was for an organization that contacted me several months before the scheduled event.  I would lead three conferences over the course of a week in three different cities.  We agreed upon the fee and that they would cover all my expenses.  We shared several communications before the event.  About three weeks before the first conference I received an e-mail telling me that they had made the decision that they would cover my expenses only up to a certain limit, one that I knew would be surpassed.  My first thought was to cancel my appearance when they refused to reconsider.  However, I did not do that.  A lot of publicity had gone into promoting the three conferences I would be leading for them.  I felt if I refused to appear the people who planned to attend would not be told the reason for my decision and would be upset with me.  I went as planned, gave them the best presentations I could give, and covered the expenses they would not pay with the fee I earned.  I also will not speak for that organization again.

You can be a jerk once and get by with it, but eventually it will destroy your credibility as a business owner and eventually it will cost you.  In business, as in all areas of life, the Golden Rule is still the best way to conduct yourself.  If we would all strive to treat one another as we would like to be treated the world would be a better place, and you would probably find your business would be more profitable.